14×18″ watercolour paper batik 

Unlike the rest of the paintings in the “Flights of Fancy” collection, this one took the longest “to mature” experiencing all the “rites of passage”, perhaps becoming one of the most poignant of metaphors yet.
I was going through the strong “circle and spiral and earth phase” when I began, as with the others, attempting to find a way to express my feelings; on this occasion to “pretend looking out to the world/earth from a secret, distant vantage point” …
It was not meant to be…
Through the months and, the many stages/attempts, I began noticing that this work was clearly telling me that it was all about looking in, not out.
It definitely had an intent of its own!
I began with a watercolour and ended up with a gold leaf mixed media piece – neither before nor after – that clearly shows the vantage point narrowing into the subject, not vise-versa… granting a rich glimpse “within”. 

Within, I found a distinct focus, a horizon/resting place, with all sorts of life energy surrounding and flowing about. Just as with inner life…

A deep red solid land mass just a quarter way up into the circle, symbolizes/provides the power from the earth and gives energy on all levels.
The yellows/ambers, rising above indicating the rebirth of the day with the warm rays of the sun, connects us to our mental self.
The luscious greens, representing nature in its glory – all surrounding/cocooning – connecting us to unconditional love and balancing our whole being.
The luminous blues bring us a pacifying and great relaxation effect, as well as connecting us to our unconscious self, giving us the experience of being part of the whole universe.
The purple connects us to our spiritual self, bringing guidance, wisdom and inner strength.
The circle, a sacred hoop/ring; ancient and universal symbol of unity, wholeness, infinity; the goddess, and female power – the feminine spirit or force, the cosmos or a spiritualized mother earth, and a sacred space.
Last but not least, the gold, a sacred hue – symbolically leading “within” – crowning, or gently embracing the experience by contributing ancient beliefs of illumination, love, self-esteem, courage, passion, light, sun – solar magic, fire. Prosperity, wisdom and the yang …

:) AMB

There will always be a special place in my heart for this painting… (and, will shamelessly and apologetically admit that I actually do love all my painting….Yeap, I do!)It is obvious that I have “something really intriguing going on” with the colour blue and all its hues and, what feels like an airiness and translucency that reaches the depth of my soul. 

 

Blue does bring me peace, tranquility (colour of the fifth chakra, of will, choice, self-expression, knowledge) … yet in this painting it has a very dynamic and almost simultaneous and reversible role that quiet intrigues me as it may suggest in the shapes a duality in the elements it represents.

On the subtle “symbolic/perceptual connection” of this fifth, the “willpower Chakra” is progressing to the maturation of will: from the tribal perception that everyone and everything around you has authority over you; through the perception that you alone have the authority over you; to the final perception, that true authority comes from aligning yourself with the will of the Universe/ the Creator/ God / Ala ………… partially quoted from “The Anatomy of the Spirit” by Caroline Myss

A rather loaded concept to ponder and even more “elaborate to mature to’; which, brings me back to the special feeling this painting gives me – not really requiring words/explanations – it just IS.

This was the first time that I folded and crumpled paper in order to “express/create” together with water and pigments a fleeting glimpse at the deep sensation of what Earth felt/feels like to me.

I used the wet-on-wet technique and I must say, this was a stunning experience to me as once the brush was loaded and the tip touched the water it needed little “guiding”, but a whole lot of “maneuvering” of the paper for the paint to flow in the desired directions.

For me, it represents “a miracle” in how puddled and seeped into the paper. I love using this particular “amateur” paper, because it is smooth and when throughly wet is almost like a cloth – although, one must be careful, as it is possible to cause it to tear…

Earth: raw, simple yet multi-dimensional, vibrant… wet! lol
There were three more and just recently a couple smaller in size that began the “Minies Series”.

I am sure you will look at them differently form now on… what do they say to you?

Looking at the works now – a year later – with the exception of the “quick sketch”, the other two versions do reflect to some extent the “need for perfection” and “uptightness” implicit in the expected conduct of a Catholic boarding school of the time.

I loved the swimming pool, almost as much as I loved this chapel yet, I have no interest in painting it… it gave me pleasure but it hardly gave me any comfort and refuge.

It is possible that the peace I find these days in “places of worship” (any place of worship, including deep in nature!) comes from those times, those deeply held convictions of safety – the comfortable isolation felt in the silence and alone-ness of the experience in an sacred (empty) building/space.

This chapel was a literal refuge for me, for I could hide in it – choosing the second floor (right above the front door), or choir mezzanine, to escape all the living demons on the grounds!

I was absolutely safe there.

God was taking care of me – or so much I believed, as my only solace was to find a protecting, loving figure even if “ethereal”… I did become a very spiritual child while residing in the institution.

There was a grotto with the Stella Maris virgin behind the chapel, I used to escape there too, with the two resident German Sheppard’s – my only living, breathing friends in the “entire world”! I have no desire to paint this one either.

The “Maria Ward Institute” – a bilingual (Spanish/Hungarian) boarding school – had “formal grounds” although, it was originally a Spanish Colonial ranch we had wonderful statues stategically placed about. I don’t remember ever running around on the grounds, except on Easter Sundays when we had phenomenal eggs hunts … :)

A lot of what transpired there came to shape to an astounding degree the person I am today – it is mind boggling how a series of events, situations in childhood can still play an active role in my daily life even today – absolutely mind boggling, but true!

I like the way this building feels/looks; there is something “orderly” about it, trustworthy, despite the neatly (sharply ?) trimmed angular hedges – in clear contrast with the warm ocre colour of the structure and the graciously curved dor and bell cupola convey.

In private collection, White Rock, BC

 

While rather different, this watercolour is closely related to the previous one, as I was still exploring the intense vibrancy of the chakra’s primary colours but, with what will come to be a reoccurring theme in my work – the spiral … an ancient symbol of evolution, one of the oldest pagan symbols in existence. It represents the cycle of the seasons and the cycles of Life, growth and change. Although each loop of the spiral brings us back to the same place, it takes us to a higher and more evolved level at each turn.

In this case, I began painting from the “dark eye/centre” (Eight Chakra for some) of the imaginary energy spiral. I felt it was the only way to apply colour/energy in this work; from the dark recess of the deep centre to the sharp light and vibrant openness at the edges – such is our imagination/perception, always allocating places for things and symbols, people, etc. …

Purple is the colour that took centre stage for me. Purple represents the seventh Chakra – our relationship with the divine, beauty, creativity inspiration. Purple enhances creativity….

The blue, and the green in particular (as well as in “Energy”) have come to be strongly represented. Blue symbolizing intellect, wisdom, intuition, mysticism, understanding and the green love, forgiveness – balance self control.

Orange was, somehow in this case, perceived as a gift of life, warm embracing gentleness …. (prominent in another way in “Energy)

It is not an accident that these colours came about in the measure they did; I have been in a quest of evolving into a better human being, one with boundless love, understanding and forgiveness…

Forgiveness being something that I practice, and practice, and practice and don’t seem to master to any satisfactory degree, as sometimes I surrender and state: God may forgive them… I obviously can’t. This, actually has more to do with my inability to “forget” than forgiving – because I believe in my mind and heart that I do, yet, I am filled with doubts when I do not want to be around certain people ever again in my life!

Which, brings me to having to accept that I am not perfect, and in need of a couple more re-incarnations to get it all right! lol

I also kept this one as “my other original signature painting”…
I named it “Nautilus Eye” simply because I made an “almost” subconscious association with the shell, and therefore saltwater, and a huuuuuuuuuuge number of other “impressions” relating to the spiral and water…
If you look carefully at how the colours flowed into one another , you cannot avoid thinking of water and…. the interrelatedness of it all!